F.E.M Defenders

[mctek]

Hey Gang!

Tek here with another story experiment for your reading pleasure, I hope you guys enjoy it. Been a blast figuring out how to bring this story to life so to speak. Going forward I wanna bring more story to sex and mind control you're all craving for and more. Let me know what you all think!

Tek~

F.E.M Defenders #1

The world of F.E.M Defenders begins now with the origins of the would be team as they take their first step into a world of science, sex and mind control. Please enjoy part 1 of the origin story of the F.E.M Defenders as you learn how they came to be and why. Here only at Mccomix.

http://www.mccomix.com/members/gallery2 ... emId=62391

[NoneNeeded]

Like the concept so far. Much as I like MetroBay, its nice to see other world being explored. And the art is great.

I do worry that the 'altruistic scientist' vs 'evil military' aspect might drag it down. I mean, she knew who was funding her. What else did she think they wanted! So she is either incredibly naive or she has no problem using lies and deception herself to achieve her goals.

And what kind of idiot externalizes an internal monologue about betraying you militaristic employer in a secure base with your back to the door!! I guess that speaks to option one above. Smart and Sexy but Simple.

This sounds more critical than intended. I think I will be enjoying this, as I have most of your stuff, one once I get past Sato being a beautiful but bemused boffin.

Thanks!

[mctek]

Like the concept so far. Much as I like MetroBay, its nice to see other world being explored. And the art is great.

I do worry that the 'altruistic scientist' vs 'evil military' aspect might drag it down. I mean, she knew who was funding her. What else did she think they wanted! So she is either incredibly naive or she has no problem using lies and deception herself to achieve her goals.

And what kind of idiot externalizes an internal monologue about betraying you militaristic employer in a secure base with your back to the door!! I guess that speaks to option one above. Smart and Sexy but Simple.

This sounds more critical than intended. I think I will be enjoying this, as I have most of your stuff, one once I get past Sato being a beautiful but bemused boffin.

Thanks!

thanks, had fun making this world up, hope it lives up to expectations . I didn't mean to have her come across as that naive I'll do better in the future to lessen that aspect. Going forward going to be some new lessons in storytelling as i leave the safety net of Metrobay. Try to work in as many ideas and concepts as I can. Already had suggestions to show some longer mc's were possible and not have alot of blink and miss it mcing. i just noticed my screwup i forgot to add the dialogue tail to page 23 which i'll be doing soon. my fault for not triple checking my work.

Also like to thank Teckno and Uzo for helping with props and prop graphics for this story.

still waiting to see if u guys caught my pop culture references

Tek~

[NoneNeeded]

I had assumed that the balloon on 23 was private thoughts. The same think appeared on 22 when she was out of frame. That was part of what made me think she was so clueless when you then speaks up on the next page.

I must say, the idea that these F.E.M.s are able to be sent into a virtual space does make for some interesting MC options. Plug them into a Sim where they are are pleasure conditioned to obey at 4 times normal speed. Or just hit them with a virus that slowly makes them find the General to be the most desirable man on Earth and triggers a pleasure response to his praising them.

One of the hottest stories I know has a robot that seduces its victim and then uses hypnosis and pleasure over a weekend to program them to obey it. I keep hoping to see this sort of thing from one of the MB robots. Slow is sexy!

[Hector2]

Dear McTek:

F.E.M. defenders # 1 was awesome! I understand that an Issue # 1 has to grab the attention of the reader and I think you had done it! I loved to see Dazzle, Charger, Wild and Sheila (is that her name?) and the very clever trick when we see why all the missions seems to be the same.

About your character design, I loved Dazzle “magical girl” attire, and “Wild” obviously irish ancestry, but the one who is my favorite is definitely Chager: She seems like a young Amelia Earthart… I will love to see more of her.

Now, call me a conspiracy theorist, but Fumiko Sato remembers me a lot of Terra, not RingMistress, but the original Terra, the shy girl that only wanted to protect her loved ones.

Now let me tell you about this, Fumiko could be a great scientist and all, but I must agree with NoneNeeded: anyone who is caught in a monologue about letting go the experiments from the evil government deserves to be executed summarily. Why! If this was an anime, Fumiko would be dead at Defenders # 2 and her team would need to avenge her!

And let me tell you this, the idea of robot clones with superpowers trained in an artificial environment is great! I would have wished to think about that myself!
Great work!

@ NoneNeeded: There are a lot of animes that would tell you that good scientists always manage to save their creations for the evil military that pay for them… only problem? The scientist tends to sacrifice his life to this purpose or at least quit his old life to lead the new super hero monster team in Mission Control… or the evil military make him do so… A sciencist with enough resources to fund his own research tends to be evil, mad, or the biggest jerk you will know (Bruce Wayne or Tony Stark, anyone?)

[mctek]

hey gang, small update, finished render work for a few stories, sorry for the wait on fixing my error. Pages 21, 22, and 23 are corrected to reflect what i had intended. Thou what i had in mind didn't meet goal expectation. In the future I'll try harder to meet the goal i set for this story. Apologies for errors and kind weak cliffhanger.

http://www.mccomix.com/members/gallery2 ... emId=62391

F.E.M. defenders # 1 was awesome! I understand that an Issue # 1 has to grab the attention of the reader and I think you had done it! I loved to see Dazzle, Charger, Wild and Sheila (is that her name?) and the very clever trick when we see why all the missions seems to be the same.

It's not actually sheila, more of a pet name or mocking of the character. Her actual name is Eagle Moon. well code name, so more to come!


alright off to bed for me, I'll toss some extra stuff later on. Kind of pass due on giving you guys some extra nuggets.

Tek~

[mctek]

Hey gang tek here with Issue #2 of FEM Defenders for your reading pleasure! Thanks again for reading and as always critiques and comments welcomed!

Tek~

F.E.M. Defenders #2

When we last saw, It was revealed that group of heroines set on seemingly different missions were discovered not to be real heroines, but artificial beings created by the genius scientist Fumiko Sato. During their tests, the Organic Robot named Dazzle appeared to have malfunction in the eyes of the good doctor, where as her benefactor does not. Having a change of heart the good doctor abesnt minded spoke out loud her intends to free her creations, not realizing she was being heard....find out her fate in F.E.M. Defenders #2 here only at MCcomix.com!

http://www.mccomix.com/members/gallery2 ... emId=65044

[Sumatra]

Great story so far McTek. Loving that the doctor got betrayed by her own government, classic.

A couple of questions. Fumiko is the same type of robot as her creations? Were they real women before? Why did they make Fumiko into a robot, because of her escape plan? Would be nice to see how she got found that way. Guessing she confided in the wrong person, maybe Doctor Aris?

-Sumatra

[Hector2]

Dear McTek:

Holly cow! F.E.M. Defenders # 2 was the most depressing thing I have ever seen… I’m not talking about your work, but about the narrative: A scientist that cannot protect her work and ends being experimented? That was depressing. I mean yes, Fumiko screwed it up, but this is awful!

However, I think I have now the influence on this chapter: Robocop: The tragic story of a the little guy who is ultimately abused by great corporations and the militarily.

I really hope things get better for Fumiko in next issue, or at least Dr. Aris get her comeuppance, not to say nothing of the general.

[mctek]

Hey gang!

Happy rough start to the new year! Falling over myself as the politics of Retail doom my job...again. Why do i keep doing that to myself dunno...should have my head examined getting sick didn't help either >.>, So I will be formally doing more commission work as the year drives along. If you are interested in commission work please PM me and we can discuss your request. Anywho back to the show!

F.E.M. Defenders #3

Now that the work on poor Fumiko is complete what sinister plan do the General and his consort, Doctor Aris have in short for our mindless beauty. Find out here and more only at MCcomix.com!

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[Sumatra]

Loving this story so far. Love the Robocop refs.

Fumiko capturing Jasmine was great. Liked to see what happened to her as well, assume same as Fumiko?

Got a question, Jasmine is FEM #2? What number are the heroine versions? They human like Fumiko or just robots? If just robots, pretty hot their maker joined them.

-Sumatra

[Hector2]

Dear McTek:

FEM Defenders # 3 is still depressing: Not only Fumiko is a mere tool to the General and the Doctor Aris, but also an enforcer to catch others victims…

Is this a deconstruction of the sponsored government superhero team? This seems like one.

And what about poor Jasmine, was she culprit or innocent, and about Tony, is he alive or dead?

[mctek]

Hey gang!

Tek here again bringing ya another crazy issue of FEM Defenders for your reading enjoyment! Sorry about the upside down timing of comics. RL kicking me around for fun Hope you all are having a good week!

Tek~

FEM Defenders #4

Poor Fumiko, her enslavement ends in the enslavement of her own best friend! More time has passed and Fumiko has continued to be the toll of the Nation, but has she finally met her match in the unknown woman from another land? How will this meeting change for poor Fumiko? Found out here and more only at MCcomix.com

http://www.mccomix.com/members/gallery2 ... emId=66742

[mctek]

Q&A time

A couple of questions. Fumiko is the same type of robot as her creations? Were they real women before? Why did they make Fumiko into a robot, because of her escape plan? Would be nice to see how she got found that way. Guessing she confided in the wrong person, maybe Doctor Aris?

The other heroines are organic robots so they're more like super high end realistic robots. The General deals with traitors with extreme prejudice, seeing as how he walked in on her talking about freeing the robot heroines. ^_^

Loving this story so far. Love the Robocop refs.

What can i say, i'm an 80's kid at heart, Robocop was one of the best action movies i ever saw!

Got a question, Jasmine is FEM #2? What number are the heroine versions? They human like Fumiko or just robots? If just robots, pretty hot their maker joined them.

the heroines go by code names and not a number, since Fumiko and Jasmine were human to begin with and later cyborged they lost their identity in the process and go by serial numbers.

Is this a deconstruction of the sponsored government superhero team? This seems like one.

Not really a deconstruction of the idea, mostly a spring board for the story's characters to work from. ^_^

And what about poor Jasmine, was she culprit or innocent, and about Tony, is he alive or dead?

Jasmine was innocent, mostly Mina being evil...Tony, maybe................

Tek~

[Hector2]

Dear McTek:

Well, as long as I can say, FEM # 4 was an uplifting issue, but I am not lest confused than before:

Carla María’s costume is soo cool, but I fear is impractical… I imagine those are Quetzal’s feathers… She looks wonderful, but how can she use it everyday?

I loved the way the FEM defenders seem like a two dimensional characters from a comic book, believing in “good” (their government) and evil (everyone they attack). This is a good deconstruction of the genre. And for once, I loved when the “villain” gives her breaking speech and the heroes seem like buying it before their final attack (that will defeat them all).

Then, how Dr. Aris is so genre blind: if she is seeing what happened to Fumiko… how did she never planed anything in case of failure?

Oh, and is Dr. Ari’s first name Mina? If so, is Kraken showing Dr Aris after her transformation?

However, this is a great story (now that the heroines had a chance against the real villains) and I am looking forward to see more soon!

PD: I wanted to invite you to see "Green Ice" http://www.mccomix.com/members/gallery2 ... emId=65736 and http://www.mccomix.com/members/gallery2 ... emId=66440, a comic based in an idea from yours truly, and ask you for any advice you can give (or at least a review)... at viewtopic.php?f=42&t=13909

Thanks!